Steps to being a Bad Etsy Blogger.

>> Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It's come to my attention that I can give a really good guide about being a bad etsy blogger.  Here are ten easy steps.

some happy sock monkeys have joined the claireandjanae team
  1. Get pregnant.  This will help you feel sick for at least 20 weeks.  Maybe 28 if you are lucky. Or more.
  2. Start challenges where you give stuff away and then get jealous of the people who start blogs about them after you and have more followers. Then they start an awesome team. and you realize it probably wasn't your original idea but you still feel a bit sad about it because you don't get to pick the winners anymore.
  3. try to start a Facebook page but realize they are really hard to manage and apparently you aren't as Facebook savvy as some.  Don't blog about tutorials since you can't do it.
  4. Realize there are ten million other sellers who also blog from etsy and do awesome tutorials.
  5. Don't advertize. This way no one will find your blog.
  6. Don't tell your friends to buy things from you and follow your blog. This can be achieved by being secretive or unfriendly (see step one for help if you are too kind).
  7. Complain a lot in the Etsy forums about how some people get all the Etsy attention.  I'm pretty sure people like complainers. you could link to your blog in your complaints.  Then the right kind of people will be following you. You could also complain about other stuff on etsy on your blog, which is mean.
  8. Don't update your blog except every five months.
  9. Don't ever do giveaways.
  10. Don't feature other sellers.
Hopefully this short tutorial will help you attain mediocrity.  I am off to start working on it, because I realize that I am never in the etsy forums so I have definitely not complained enough.


Olivia Heilmann November 9, 2011 at 7:53 PM  

You are hilarious! I seem to be following most of your steps already. So I think I'm good. ;)

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About This Blog

I am a stay at home mom with a little bit of a fabric habit. I like selling things on etsy to see if other people like the same things I make. I have two adorable kiddos and my husband is in medical school. So when the children go to bed and husband is still away studying, I use my lovely pfaff and bring myself to cut up the fabric I adore so much.
This blog helps motivate me to get things done.

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